My Shop (work in progress!)

Monday, 10 October 2016

The problem with bras

The time has come for me to rant about bras.

For those of you that don't know me personally, allow me to provide a little personal information. I'm 33 and have a reasonably large bosom; I shop in the DD+ range.

I hate wearing clothes made of man made materials next to my skin. Polyester makes me feel all hot and sweaty. Boobs are big sacks of fat. Fat makes you warm. Boobs are warm. DD+ boobs get really warm. Hey let's make them even hotter by putting them in a fabric that doesn't breathe.

Padding. It seems that all bras have to have this at the moment. Because everyone must have a massive bust. There are times when I want padding for a bit of extra volume for a special occasion, but for everyday wear I don't. I wear a DD+ bra; I have my own padding. Plus padding means warmth, and we covered sweaty boobs already.

Wanting an unpadded bra made of natural material seems to indicate that you're a middle aged lady. In fact, that's insulting to middle aged ladies like my mum. She wouldn't wear them either. Marks and Spencer I'm looking at you. One bra in the whole of your shop last time I looked. In three colours - white, pastel peach or pastel green. Yuck.

Then we come to the subject of linings. I've found a bra that has nice soft cups. I feel lining inside. It's polyester. And is made of really rough mesh. Who wants rough mesh next to their nipples? That's right. Not me.

All I'm looking for is a bra that is mostly natural material (cotton/viscose/modal), has underwire and doesn't have any padding or nipple-chafing lace. Oh and I don't want it to cost more than £20. And I want more of a choice than black, white or "nude".

Monday, 29 August 2016

My Strictly Fantasy, AKA holy crap it's a blog post!

OK so I haven't written for a long time. My health has gotten in the way. I'm still ill, but occasionally I have an idea. Today is one of those days. HURRAH! 

Where to start. Firstly, Radiohead brought out A Moon Shaped Pool this May. I love it and it's up there with OK Computer and In Rainbows as one of my favourite of their albums.

Secondly, I enjoy watching Strictly Come Dancing. I took ballet and tap classes between the ages of three and 14 and I still love dancing. It's a bit tricky with chronic fatigue and a tibia fracture that's only 75% healed, but I do try. Endorphins and all that.

Some time last year I decided to make a list of tracks that I would dance to if I ever made it onto SCD. Today I was sitting in my yarden in the sunshine, thinking about the series of SCD that starts this week. I was listening to A Moon Shaped Pool and thinking how Burn The Witch would make a great ballroom tango song.

I take the fantasy further and it's Halloween week; in homage to the video I come up with the story for the dance. Tangos usually feature "a couple having some sort of argument" plot. So in this dance my partner would be a Witch Finder, possibly wearing a creepy plague mask. I'd be the witch he'd fallen in love with and he was torn about burning me at the stake. Pretty good argument fodder if ever there was any.

If you haven't heard the song or seen the video, here it is. Think The Wicker Man animated Trumpton -style.

As it's my SCD fantasy I'm dancing with Pasha Kovalev (pictured above). I like his choreography, OK?

Not every couple gets to do each type of dance, depending on which week they're eliminated. But it's my fantasy so Pasha and I at least get to the final so we can do all the styles. There are 14 dances, split between the disciplines of ballroom and Latin. To generalise, ballroom = man in a suit, lady in a ballgown, traditional hold; Latin = man in tight pants with his chest out, lady wearing not very much, and a lot of hip movement!

I've decided to add the rest of my list here (with accompanying videos) for your pleasure. Enjoy!

Waltz: Elbow - The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver

Viennese waltz: Air - Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping

Cha-cha-cha: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero

Quickstep: The Doors - LA Woman. If you don't know The Doors Alive, you need to check them out. They're as close as you're gonna get to hearing The Doors live without access to a TARDIS. The singer and drummer have changed from the lineup seen here, but I'm sure they're still great. This was filmed at a gig I was at and you can actually see the back of my head dancing!

Tango: Radiohead - Burn The Witch. As above. If you really want to know, my tango dance on the original list was Band of Skulls - Himalayan. Oh go on then...

Rumba: Chet Baker - My Funny Valentine. I thought this would tie in well with movie week, as it was featured in The Talented Mr Ripley.

Jive: Imelda May - Johnny Got A Boom Boom

Foxtrot: Everything But The Girl or Ella Fitzgerald  - Night And Day. It's a hard choice between the versions! Everything But The Girl would be less likely to make me cry, as the Ella version was my grandparents' song. Sadly both of them have died, and they played it at my grandad's funeral.

Paso doble: Rammstein - Mein Teil. This was going to be my Halloween week before Burn The Witch came along.

Sadly the Blogspot video widget doesn't like Rammstein. Find it here.

Samba: The Commodores - Brick House

Salsa: Paul Simon - Late Evening

American Smooth: Madeleine Peyroux - Dance Me to the End of Love

Argentine tango: Gotan Project - Una Musica Brutal

Charleston: tUnE-yArDs - Water Fountain