What is the universe trying to tell me?

When I was about 17/18 I went to a weekly writing group called Juice which was organised by New Writing North. There I met a lad called James who went to the other secondary school in Whitehaven to me. We got along OK but didn't keep in touch after the sessions finished.



I took a year out after my A Levels and went to university aged 19. In my first creative writing class there was a face I recognised but couldn't work out why. I asked the lad if he had gone to St Benedicts school. He said yes and asked if I had. I told him I had gone to Whitehaven but recognised him. As Whitehaven is a small place we thought we probably saw each other wandering about. Later on in the class I had a eureka moment - it was James who had been to the Juice writing sessions. How odd that we both ended up at the same university in the same year (I was in the school year above him), both studying creative writing and both in the same class (there was at least four classes).



We stayed in the same class throughout our three years at university and were fairly friendly but weren't best buddies or anything like that. After graduation we didn't keep in touch.



One evening last year Vince and I were heading to my parents' house for the weekend. I was just sitting there minding my own business when a voice said "Karen Hands!" I turned to look and there was James - it had been over a year since I had last seen him. It turned out that he too was living in Carlisle now and was also heading to Whitehaven to see family.

Another time when I was travelling back from Whitehaven a voice said "We've got to stop meeting like this!" and there was James again! OK so it's not so weird that we meet on the train to or from Whitehaven as we both have family down there.

What was the weirdest thing was what Vince said on Friday as we were walking home together on Friday. He works as a temp in the payroll department at Carlisle Infirmary and he said that they were getting another temp in starting today and his name was James G********. "You're kidding that's my friend James from uni, the one we always bump into on the train!" Vince was equally as shocked as I was.

I meant to text James about this but forgot. It got me thinking - wherever I go he has followed me or am I following him? It really is quite odd. I said to Vince to let me know if it was in fact my friend James. Sure enough it was! He even said in his email 'James says to tell you “bwa-ha-ha, there is no escaping me”'.

So what I want to know is what the fuck is going on?

300

Well Vince and I had been wanting to see it for a while so when a friend of mine from work asked if we wanted to go and see it with her and her boyfriend we jumped at the chance. Not only was it my birthday but it also meant that we didn't just sit and fester at home. As we only moved to Carlisle at the end of August we don't have a social network at all really so it's nice to finally have a couple of friends.

The film is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel and follows the Spartans' battle against the hordes of the King of Persia at the Battle of Thermopylae. It seems highly unlikely that 300 soldiers will win against millions but you do wonder how long they'll last.

It is very visually stunning - there is exaggerated use of colour and lighting probably to mimic the look of the original graphic novel. Sometimes the colour is almost bleached out of the shot with just a hint of red in people's lips and whatever their eye colour is to show that it is not in true black and white.

There is lots of gore - people have limbs and heads hacked off, blood sprays everywhere but it is not sickening because of the stylisation. It makes it seem quite cartoon-like, again reflecting the original graphic novel.

The only downfall with the film is the amount of cheese. The script is pretty bad but the worst thing is the narrator - he states the bloody obvious all the time, often repeating something that has only just been said by one of the characters.

Then there is Xerxes' hareem of freaks. Ephialtes was cast out by the Spartans at birth because he was deformed. He wants to fight with the Spartans but his deformities prevent him from being able to do so and King Leonidas casts him out once more. Ephialtes is a bit of a Gollum figure. He then decides to betray the Spartans as Xerxes offers him riches etc. etc. just for kneeling before him. Xerxes has a bit of a God complex you see. He then goes to the hareem of freaks and gets some kicks from other freaks.

Xerxes is camper than a row of tents and creates much of the cheese in the film but makes it an absolute hoot. He has weird cheek piercings.

Does he really look that scary to you - like he'd be able to command hoardes of countries and rule almost the whole world? Not if you ask me.