Haunted Toilet

Where I work is quite an old building. At present I am working in what would have been the basement or possibly the servants quarters when the building was a house. Sometimes when I go into one of the cubicles it sounds like one of the taps has started running all by itself (I am the only person in the toilets). But by the time I come out of the cubicle the tap has stopped running...

Bloody Weird Blog Inspired Dream

A dream of epic proportions. Even though I was asleep I felt like it was going on for ages, like a proper film!

It started off where my mum, dad, friends Jenny and Deborah, their parents Sue and Phil, Vince and myself were all at a train station (that doesn't exist in reality) down the side of the car showroom in Rowrah near the railway bridge (opposite this hotel). We could see a view to a small hill Steel Brow (which is impossible because of houses and another hill in the way). It was at night and there were lots of lights in the sky created by flares and the occasional missile. We could also hear the distant sound of rapid gun fire.

Then it was day and we were sat waiting for a train but we weren't sure they were still running due to the war. Apparently the Russians had invaded totally unanounced and unprovoked. A train derailed but no one was hurt.

Then mum and dad, grandma and grandad, Vince and I were at Tower House and thinking that we would probably be safe there due to the isolation and should hold out there til things had quietened down. The problem was that we were only supposed to be there for the weekend and leave on the Monday. We couldn't get hold of the caretaker to ask whether it was ok to stay on. We had plenty of logs for the fires and I think there was a power cut but it was ok because we had the AGA. In the end we decided to leave and go back home.

Vince and I were at mum and dad's house. Dad got kidnapped but we managed to trick his captors into giving him back. My next door neighbour and "big brother" Stuart came round and said that as things were so bleak and we might all die he wanted to have sex with a woman to see what it was like (he's gay). I can't remember what I said to this but I don't remember a sex bit in my dream so I must have said no!

Then there was a bit where men were coming round with a high tech machine that rolled over cars a bit like a scanner but was in fact turning it into scrap metal and storing it in a way that somehow took up no space so the whole operation was very portable. The Mini got scrapped, dad managed to hide the Morgan in the garage by somehow securing it to the ceiling so when they put a detector in under the garage door they didn't locate it. They took parts of the Rover that were useful but didn't completely scrap it because it was crap! (Influenced by this blog of my mum's).

Then there was a bit where grandma sent me a text message (in reality she doesn't have a clue) showing me a picture of some gear and an explosive device that she and grandad were being made to wear. I think the invaders were using up the old folk in this way to get rid of them because they were "useless" in their eyes. She said in the text that she better go to the toilet before she got kitted up as I think they had to put the bomb up their bottoms! So she was still joking away as usual even though the enemy was trying to blow her up.

Then there was a seemingly unrelated bit where I was at the aforementioned Sue and Phil's house and they had some relatives staying. One of Jenny's cousins was quite severely disabled and you had to pick him up in the correct way otherwise you could break his spine. (Influenced by my comment in M&M's blog).

Then there was a bit where I (not sure who was accompanying me at this point) was in a shopping centre and we all had to evacuate as quickly as possible. Can't remember exactly what was happening but it was something to do with the Russian invasion. I needed to go to the toilet so went off to find them and water was flowing over the top of the bowls of pretty much all the toilets. However there was one where the water level hadn't quite reached the top - I couldn't be picky really as I needed to go and was in danger. Also at this point Dr Who was in the shopping centre. He wasn't really helping out in anyway like you'd imagine he would, he was just there trying to get out like the rest of us. But it was definitely Dr Who rather than being David Tenant. (Influenced by this blog by M&M).

That's all I remember(!!) - it didn't sem to come to any definite end. Sorry if I've bored you to tears reading this - your own dreams are very interesting but generally other people's dreams can be quite boring as you didn't have it. I needed to write it down though before I completely forgot it as I didn't have a chance before I came into work this morning.

Missing

I've lost my weird! My ability to waffle about random crap and make strange connections between things that don't seem connected is missing. My vivid imagination has dwindled.

I think this is because the job I'm doing at the moment is really boring and frustrating and the guy I'm working for at the moment is more than a little infuriating. At least it's my last day and next week I'll be in a different department, where the work will be no less boring but I shouldn't think I'll want to take my boss by the shoulders and shake them.

So if you've seen my random, my weird - please return it to me as I rather miss it.

http://www.madprofessor.net/images/weird-oh.jpg

Carlisle

"Stand in the place where you live

Now face North

Think about direction

Wonder why you haven’t before

Stand in the place where you work

Now face West

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven’t before."

The above is taken from REM's song "Stand" on their Green album. Now I don't know about you but I find this song incredibly irritating. Not only because it is incredibly catchy and sticks in my head all day long if I hear it, but also because of the sentiment. OK, maybe the average person is unobservant and doesn't notice the world around them, BUT I DO!

For example today it's bloody cold and windy which is fairly typical for Carlisle. John Watts cafe was pumping out the usual smell of burning teacakes but is in fact the delightful (if slightly overpowering) scent of roasting coffee. Marks and Spencers fire alarm was going off (I don't know if there was actually a fire) so there were huge crowds of people milling around outside and it meant I couldn't buy a salad there for my lunch. There were quite a few books about freemasonry in the window of Oxfam which made me curious as to who had donated these.

However, there was no sign of either of the mad women that wander around town - Scary Mary, an alcoholic with mental probelms who is rather threatening and looks like a troll, and the one who is rather more refined, have seen her wear a dead fox scarf thingy round her neck and keeps her money in an old metal OXO tin.

Scary Mary has threatened a friend of mine with a metal nail file, has caused a ruckus in Scope charity shop (while I tried not to laugh at her) as she threatened to go to the police about one of the volunteers making a gesture behind her back, which her "friend" saw (the volunteer had made a wafting motion in front of her nose to indicate that Scary Mary stank of drink) and, has sprayed an aerosol in the eyes of a bus driver when he refused to let her on the bus as he knew what she was like. Apparently she is also known for "aggrevated begging" - blocking peoples way and not letting them pass until they give her money.

I'm sure that there must be other strange people in Carlisle that I have yet to meet and I look forward to observing them, I just hope that they leave me alone!

Weird

As a child I had a recurring dream that I had a couple of times. I was dressed a bit like Joan of Arc - a white tunic and chainmail - and I was in an old house that had lots of interesting things like brass shields on the walls. The walls were white rough plaster and had coins set into them. In the dream I am quite excited and run up some stairs, just when I get to the top of the stairs, the dream ends.

I had sent my Nan a thank you card for the cheque she sent me for Christmas and she wrote me a little note back which arrived on Monday. It freaked me out when I opened the envelope as the card she sent had a line drawing of a hallway of an old house - AND IT LOOKED VERY LIKE MY DREAM!!!

What seems especially weird that although I had this dream a maximum of 5 times, I probably haven't had it for about 10 years - but I still remember it... I wonder what it all means?