My Shop (work in progress!)

Friday, 23 March 2007

Pigeon Sex/Word Play

I have a thing about pigeons. No, this is not the post where I admit to having a penchant for bestiality - it's more about finding them a bit cute, a nuisance and amusing (although the idea of pigeon isn't as inherently funny as the idea of monkey. Why are monkeys so funny?)
Vince, some friends and I used to walk up behind pigeons, raise our arms and shout "PIGEON!" at them. Terrified at suddenly becoming aware of their being they would fly away. We were also able to do this psychicly - we just mentally shouted at them and didn't raise our arms and they still flew away.
Then we read the word serpiginous in a book and wondered what it meant. Because of the way the word is pronounced we invented the characters Sir and Lady Pigeonous. They were rulers of their kind - they lived on a ledge opposite our flat in the centre of Stirling. We used to make out that they were plotting against us (yes we were adults at the time!)
Now at work the view out of my window isn't very exciting - an ancient fire escape, some walls and the back of another building. However there's a roof made of corrugated plastic just outside my window, some moss and quite a few pigeons. It breaks up the monotony of writing boring letters watching the pigeons - especially when they walk up right by the window and look in with their beady orange eyes. They look just as puzzled at what I'm doing as I must be about them.
Recently though, they've started shagging. Poor pigeons don't have a great sex life. The ladies get chased round by bullying males all fluffed up to look impressive (not too dissimilar to what happens with some humans), they peck beaks a bit, the woman sits down, the guy hops on top and flaps his wings for a few seconds and then hops off again. Short sex sessions seem to be the norm for wild animals though as they have to make sure they don't let their guard down and get eaten on the job. Pigeons it seems go for quantity over quality.
Please don't think I'm some sort of pervy pigeon voyeur as this isn't the case - spring is in the air and it seems almost every time I look out the window they're at it!


Gill said...

they are all at it! jackdaws, starlings, flies, everything! spring has spring and the sap is rising!

word of the day wlrmax- a supermarket owned by walmart and tk maxx

mutterings and meanderings said...

I wrote a children's novel about pigeons after becoming fascinated by them when I used to go outside at work for a fag (back in the days when I smoked).

Unfortunately, the story was not shared due to a lack of interest from agents. Bah humbug!